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Keeping up with The Cantelmo's: My Plans.....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

My Plans.....

My daughter Grace is a typical first born. She is a leader (meaning bossy at times) and a planner. She plans the color scheme of her future wedding, what she wants for lunch next Wednesday, how many kids she will have (5 boys and 2 girls), what TV show she will watch after school and how we will celebrate her birthday for the next 3 years.
The other day, Grace and I were discussing Halloween. In normal Grace like fashion, she has her costume planned for the next 4 years, “Mom, this year I am going to be a Caterina (a cat that is a ballerina), next year I am thinking Pocahontas and make sure I get the shoes, the year after that a black cat, and one year I really need to be Minnie Mouse.”
“Oh I love Pocahontas’ shoes too,” I reply, “But don’t think too far ahead, because you might be bummed if you don’t get to be Pocahontas next year. Let’s just focus on this year.” Grace is already off to setting up her classroom of baby dolls and misses what I said.
I’m a lot like Grace, I plan things too. From planning my day to planning what outfits my kids are going to wear for their Christmas pictures. But things don’t always work out. Sometimes the baby is fussy and I just can’t get to vacuuming. Or the outfits I wanted for our Christmas pictures are way out of our budget this year. Things rarely ever go as planned. In some of these small areas, I let it roll off my shoulders. But the big areas, I struggle with giving it to God.
When Anthony and I were first married, I worked Monday through Thursday . By the time I got home, the kids were ready to be put to bed and I was too drained to put much effort into our marriage. I remember begging God to give me different hours at work, more time with my family, financial resources so I didn’t have to work and just a way out. I told God, “This is not how I planned it.” For a while there, I was pretty angry with Him. Anthony and I already got off to a rough start with doing things backwards, then Anthony lost his job and then I had to work horrible hours. Didn’t God realize that this was not my plan for our marriage? Plus, wasn’t God supposed to ease up on us a bit? Hadn’t we been through enough???
God answered our prayers but I went through a season of waiting. In the waiting I realized that life does not go as planned (this is a lesson that God seems to teach me over and over again!) and I need to release my control and allow God to control my life. I need to trust God that His plans for me are far better than my own. Why is this so hard for me?
God answered our prayers and with a tight budget, I was able to stay at home once Luke was born. A month after Luke was born, Anthony lost his job. It was time for me to wrestle with God again, “Okay God, I planned that I would stay at home with the kids and Anthony would get a great raise and life would be all good……so why isn’t this happening????” (Also in that planning, I dreamed that my house would be perfectly clean, I would be in perfect shape, Pottery Barn came and redecorated for free and my kids would be perfect angels!)
I am thankful for the grace that covers me because He teaches me this lesson over and over again. “Melanie, my plans for you are far better than yours. Trust me, beloved.”
Do you go through this tug a war with God, wrestling with Him, begging that things would change? Whether it’s unemployment, losing your home, dealing with a challenging child, working in a stressful environment, having health problems, cancer, infertility, infidelity, bankruptcy, loss of a child, or divorce. The list goes on. We all go through these times where things don’t go as planned. (I need to stop thinking that one day I will win the lottery because it’s a total let down every time I don’t win…well I’ve only entered once but you know how that is…..)
How do you trust God when there seems to be no hope? For me it’s that wrestling with God, pouring my heart out to Him, repenting of my mistrust and choosing to trust Him again even when it seems scary. Sometimes I have to do this multiple times per day.
As my children grow up, I know that they will have to go through these challenging times when things don’t go as they planned. They will have to learn to trust Him, even when it’s hard. I know this process of learning to hand over my plans to God is going to make me stronger, I just hope my kids learn way quicker than I do!!!    

Weekend Bloggy Reading

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At October 20, 2011 at 7:38 AM , Blogger Catie said...

It seems like sometimes everything can go wrong. It sounds like y'all have been going through a rough time. I know God has a plan, and I will say a prayer that He will give you strength to get thru it.

At October 20, 2011 at 9:51 AM , Blogger The Cantelmo Family said...

Catie, Thanks so much for posting. Yes, we are going through a challenging season. But that is exactly what it's a season :)

At October 21, 2011 at 3:31 PM , Blogger Southern Fried Gal said...

I think we can all identify with rearranged plans. My plans have definitely been rearranged this year. I never expected hot flashes in my 30's but this too shall pass, thank the Lord!

Thankfully you and I know the Master. I feel so badly for those that really have no hope because they have no relationship.

Thanks for sharing and reminding me of this truth. Blessings to you and your family!

At October 22, 2011 at 6:45 AM , Blogger Krystle @ Color Transformed Family said...

Isn't it funny how we like to plan our life and think we will control the outcome. I find myself doing this often. My favorite verse that I find extremely comfortin is Habakuk 2:3. God is never late or early... He's always on time! Thanks for the post.
Visiting from Serenity Now.


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