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Mourning losses

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Keeping up with The Cantelmo's: Mourning losses

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Mourning losses



The other day Grace had her last dance class.
I decided to take her out because I could no longer afford to keep her in. I tried keeping her in as long as I could in hopes that Anthony would get a job and it wouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t want her to miss anything or get behind.
Grace said goodbye to her friends and told me she was okay with taking a break from dance. She said she likes gymnastics more anyway.
I don’t think Grace will be a professional dancer but having her in dance was so much fun. For a while I thought it was more for me. But the other night, Grace told me that she was going to miss dance and she was sad that she would miss the recital. I reassured her that as soon as daddy got a job and we had enough money she would be able to go back.
Our family is incredibly blessed. With Anthony losing his job and being out of a stable income for the past 7 months has been quite the challenge. During this time God has blessed us in ways that we never could of imagined. This time as been incredibly challenging for us but I thank God for the work He is doing in our family.
Sometimes I try to be strong. I try to keep it together for the kids. I don’t want them to know that mommy worries about paying bills or having enough money for groceries.
As I was praying about everything I felt God reminding me that it is okay to mourn some of our losses. He reminded me that He wants to comfort me through this time. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be sad over small things like Grace not going to dance and it’s okay to be sad about big things like me going back to work.
So today, I have to admit that I am feeling sad. I’m sad that Grace doesn’t get to go to dance even though dance class is a luxury, I’m sad that buying little extra things makes me worry, I’m sad that when I fill up with gas I hope that I have enough money, I’m sad that this is our normal right now and I’m sad that things aren’t changing. I am so thankful that when I am sad, God is there with His big arms open wide waiting to comfort me.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
That’s just what is on my heart today.  

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8 Comments:

At December 14, 2011 at 1:09 PM , Blogger Ashley Blunt said...

Love you Mel! God is our biggest comfort and I know He will take great care of you guys. If Grace still wants to do dance, tell her to come to my house and I will dance with her :)

 
At December 14, 2011 at 1:11 PM , Blogger Ruby Jean said...

Such a blessing to see how the Lord works on the behalf of His Children... And how He carries and comforts us in the midst of circumstances that we can't even begin to wrap our minds around....Have a VERY blessed week!!!
Angelina

 
At December 14, 2011 at 2:27 PM , Blogger Noelani said...

I absolutely love how positive you are. It's amazing how our whole attitude and mindset toward obstacles shifts ... once we let God in and trust in Him completely.

xoxo,
Noelani

 
At December 14, 2011 at 2:52 PM , Blogger Alyx said...

I love how positive you are and that you're able to put all of your trust in God and still see the many blessings that you do have! You're still in my prayers, and hopefully things start getting better for you guys!

 
At December 14, 2011 at 3:27 PM , Blogger Kristen @ Confessions of a GDS said...

I feel your pain, love! My husband has been out of work for a month and a half now and that's been super rough, especially around the holidays. I can't imagine going for as long as you. You may know that I don't pray, but I believe in the power of positive thinking, and I can tell you are a very supportive wife and mother just doing the best you can. That's all you can do right now. Things will get better and everything will work out. They always do <3

 
At December 14, 2011 at 6:02 PM , Blogger Angie said...

Well that makes me sad too! No matter if things are a luxury or necessity anything that is important to us is def worth mourning when we have to go without. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 4:13 AM , Blogger Momma Bird said...

Awe :( Mel. That made me so sad! I'll be praying for your family during this hard time. God will bless you for your faithfulness - keep your head up sweetie!!

 
At December 15, 2011 at 6:02 AM , Blogger Sarah {the fontenot four} said...

I loved this post. I'm feeling this one personally. I keep saying to myself, "well we didn't lose a job"...but we kinda did - a few years ago when we had no choice BUT to have me quit my job because of Peyton's health needs. While it wasn't a layoff or firing, it was a loss of probably 40% of our income. My husband works 2 jobs now and we still just scrape by at times. We refuse to turn on the heat right now because it'll cost money! But as for the losses....I feel you. We had Moira in swimming, which she was good at!! Everyone comments on what a great swimmer she is. But we had to pull her out a year or more ago because it's so gosh-darned expensive! She's not in dance or gymnastics or anything like that, while tons of her schoolmates are taking hip hop after school and love it. We have had her in a couple rec leagues for soccer and she loves it and she's good at it. But the reason we chose it was because it was WAY cheaper than dance or swimming! But we kept her in because we wanted her to have something that was "hers". But it's been hard along the way because I have a personal "I wish she could..." list for Moira and I feel like a failure when I can't provide. But you are right - it's all a luxury. And maybe it's more for me than her anyway. At the end of all of this rambling, just know that I understand and can relate. It's ok to mourn those losses. I guess I would say to have your time to mourn and then somehow move forward. Perhaps something will open up for her that may not have otherwise! Stay positive! God's got your back. Praying for your family!

 

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