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Keeping up with The Cantelmo's: fear.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

fear.

The one on the right is me. 

Ever since I can remember I have had a lot of fear.
One day when I was little I thought the stove was on fire
 I ran out of the house afraid that it was going to burn down.
I was afraid that a bad guy would come and get me.
I was afraid that when my parents left they would die
and I wouldn’t see them again.
I was afraid of some of my teachers because I thought they were mean.
Don’t laugh, I was afraid of certain food because they appeared scary to me.
My high school graduation
As I have grown I have learn to give my fear over to God.
Not easy. It’s a daily thing with me.
Especially now that I have kids
One of my biggest fears is that something would happen to them.
Right after Grace was born
Grace and I were living alone when she was 2 years old.
I was a single mom. So it was just me and Grace in this cute little apartment.
One night I had gotten the stomach flue.
I was so sick. The next morning I got up to throw up.
I was so dehydrated that I fainted.
I woke up and tried getting a hold of my parents.
No one was available to help me.
I went to try and get a drink in the kitchen and then fainted by the fridge.
When it was time for Grace to wake up.
I tried to take care of her but I was too weak.
I was so scared that I was going to die and no one would be there for Grace.
Somehow I ended up in the bathroom with my phone.
I fainted banging my head on the toilet.
Thankfully my dad was on speed dial. Grace called him.
My dad heard Grace crying and saying, “momma”
My dad hung up and called 911.
I woke up to banging on the door.
I crawled to open the door and the paramedics’ were there.
This is Grace right after the whole fainting incident.

After that incident, I stayed at my dad’s house while I got better.But when it was time to go home I was paralyzed with fear.I was afraid that I was going to die in my sleepand no one would be there to care for Grace.Throughout that year I would end up spending the night at my mom or dad’s house because I was so afraid.
Or I would call my parents in the middle of the night
begging them to come over to my house to make sure I was ok.
It took lots of time and counseling 


thankfully I have been able to work through the fear and give it to God.

At the end of July of this year I got really sick.
I was so sick I had Anthony
 put the kids to bed that night so I could rest.
The next morning I woke up to nurse Luke
Grace was up so we all went downstairs together
All of a sudden I felt really dizzy
I went to go into the kitchen to get a drink
but it seemed too challenging
So I decided to just go and nurse Luke
All of a sudden I lost all control of my body
I remember screaming and falling down landing on Luke
All I could think was I needed to make sure Luke was ok
I crawled with Luke to the couch to try to nurse him
Then I felt like I had fallen asleep and was dreaming

When Grace saw me faint she ran upstairs to get Anthony
Anthony ran downstairs and found me unresponsive with Luke in my arms
He called 911 and they told him to open my airway
He laid me down and everyone thought I had died
Anthony noticed that I was covered in sweat
Grace ran to get cold water to put on me
That is when I woke up
I wasn’t able to speak or move but I heard the paramedics’ come in
I heard them talking
I heard the girls crying for me
I heard everyone talking about what had happened to me
I finally said, “Is Luke ok?”
Everyone kept reassuring me he was fine
I felt horrible that I was unable to protect him

They decided to take me into the hospital
While I was waiting for the tests all I kept thinking was that I had brain cancer.
I was so afraid.
I started praying and asking God to bring me peace
All of a sudden I felt so much peace

Even though the hospital I was at wasn’t the best hospital
Every single person there spoke to me in ways that gave me so much comfort
I kept thanking God that I was ok
and that He gave me more time with my family.

After I was discharged a few days later
I left without a diagnosis
It felt scary because we didn’t know what was wrong with me
However I felt comfort that God was in control
and He was going to take care of our family
Just like He already had

Looking back at those two scary incidences in my life I realized that God had taken care of each detail for His good and His glory

Thankfully now I have a diagnosis, which brings our family much comfort
I was diagnosed with neurocardiogenic syncope


Everyday I am so thankful for each and every moment with my little ones

I feel so blessed




It is so easy to allow fear to paralyze us.
To allow the anxiety we have to take over are thoughts.
It’s not easy to let God take control.
When we do we have peace beyond
what we could ever comprehend or understand.

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid,
but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.


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20 Comments:

At January 8, 2012 at 10:01 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh my god Melanie! That would be so scary! I don't even know what I'd do. I'm so glad things turned out ok.

 
At January 8, 2012 at 10:22 PM , Blogger Ashley said...

What happened to you is my worst fear. I am constantly afraid that something will happen to me when I am home alone with my children and no one will be there to care for them. I try not to let the fear affect me, but it is a constant battle. I am so glad that both instances turned out okay and that you now have a diagnosis.

 
At January 8, 2012 at 10:37 PM , Blogger Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

oh sweetie. I know all about fear and I was panicking reading this story. I am so sorry that you had to go through that but I am so glad that everything is okay. I just researched what you have, how scary. You are a BRAVE, STRONG WOMAN. Such an inspiration you are, especially for a woman full for fear. You amaze me. :)

xoxoxoxo

 
At January 8, 2012 at 10:47 PM , Blogger Lacey said...

Oh my gosh! I worry about things like that happening all the time. What happens if something happens to me while my husband is working during the day. I have dizzy spells and fainting while I'm alone with the kids is a big fear of mine. I can't imagine actually going through it. I'm glad you and everyone is okay. That's so scary.

 
At January 9, 2012 at 7:06 AM , Blogger Kara said...

Oh that's terrifying! Thank goodness your daughter was able to help. You seem like such a strong mother. She's lucky to have you!

 
At January 9, 2012 at 7:30 AM , Blogger Marilyn said...

WOW Melanie, I'm soo sorry you had to go through that.. That's SO scary.. I'm so thankful things turned out ok.. This is so inspirational.. THANKS so much for sharing.. I am always in fear.. You are very brave and a strong woman.. BIG HUGS..xoxoxo..

ps: ADORABLE photo's..

 
At January 9, 2012 at 8:02 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

I too struggle with fear, but am thankful for God's faithfulness and the fact I can look back on my life and see him every step of the way, good and bad.

 
At January 9, 2012 at 8:35 AM , Blogger Kaitlyn said...

Wow, that is crazy! i am glad you found out what was wrong! That is really scary and i can relate to you in so many ways!!! I am so sorry you had to go through that! This post is inspiring! Thanks for posting your story <3

In our sea of love

 
At January 9, 2012 at 9:06 AM , Blogger Ashley at flats to flip flops said...

Thanks for sharing Melanie! How scary! What a great example of letting go of fear..that is so hard to do, especially when you are a mom!
Ashley:)

 
At January 9, 2012 at 10:11 AM , Blogger Beth said...

Such a powerful story, Melanie! Thank you for sharing and reminding us that God is in control even when we can't be. I will pray for you and your beautiful family. I'm so glad you're trusting God to get you through it all! *Hugs*

 
At January 9, 2012 at 10:55 AM , Blogger Jamie said...

Oh my gosh how terrifying!! Thank God everyone is ok. I can't imagine that kind of thing happening while I was all alone! I know what you mean about fear with kids. Before I had Cupcakes I wasn't a worrier at all... hard to remember those times lol!

Jamie
For Love of Cupcakes

 
At January 9, 2012 at 11:47 AM , Blogger Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

That sounds scary! As mothers we always seem to worry all the time...now that you have a diagnosis, i hope things get better for you and its a little less scary for you!

 
At January 9, 2012 at 12:56 PM , Blogger Rebecca said...

Wow! When did all of this happen? When were you finally diagnosed? I have gran-mal seizures and also faint from time to time. I agree that it is very scary because most of the time I have no idea that they are coming. I just wake up and feel very dazed. These are the things that confound us. We'll probably never understand them. You're not alone though. :)

 
At January 9, 2012 at 4:44 PM , Blogger Daisy said...

That is really scary but so encouraging that after all that you fully trust God. That is something that I struggle with as well, fear can be such a crippling thing.

 
At January 10, 2012 at 12:15 PM , Blogger Esther said...

wow. thanks for sharing this. you've reminded me to trust in god, always.

 
At January 10, 2012 at 4:36 PM , Blogger Angel said...

What you've been through sounds very traumatic. Thank you so much for sharing some of your story with us. You are a beautiful mommy with a beautiful family! I pray Jesus sings His sweet peace over you every minute of the day!

 
At January 10, 2012 at 8:49 PM , Blogger ThisLittleMomma said...

How scary those events must have been for you. I too fear everything. I always feel like I am all alone with these fear/thoughts inside my head. Thanks for sharing your story!

 
At January 10, 2012 at 9:07 PM , Blogger The Every Day Extraordinary said...

Your health situation sounds terrifying! I've dealt a lot with fear since an incident in September--The last two verses you wrote brought me much comfort too.

 
At January 13, 2012 at 6:07 AM , Blogger Just the Two of US said...

you must have been so scared! i've been there before too. New to your blog! found you through the link up.
Fear is hard to get over, praying God gives you strength!

 
At January 14, 2012 at 9:33 PM , Anonymous Blue Cotton Memory said...

I have a family history of that. My great grandfather played football for a university in 1897 and had to drop out of medical school because he fainted at the sight of blood. It's trickled down through the family history. Not sure if my oldest has it - but he's passed out 3 times in his life for no reason. It's good to know and to know how to control it. So glad you found out!

 

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