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Keeping up with The Cantelmo's: Intentional with my marriage

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Intentional with my marriage


I’ve been neglecting a lot of areas in my life lately.
Laundry, my eyebrows, my nails, 
the dogs, cleaning, cooking, and my husband.
It grieves me to say it…Anthony has become last on my list.
Not good.
I wake up, get the kids ready, I get ready, say goodbye to Anthony, Luke and Olivia. I race Grace to school. I head over to work. I work all day while yawning and wanting to fall asleep. Then I come home from work. Anthony and I feed the kids, give the kids a bath, read stories and then we put them to bed. I tell Anthony goodnight and I get straight into bed and fall asleep because I am beyond exhausted.
I don’t want my day to be like that. I want to be intentional with my marriage. I don't want my marriage to be last. I want to show Anthony how much I value him and how proud I am of him.
We were talking the other night and I told him how I wanted to be more intentional. Intentional with our marriage.
I want to focus on one thing.
If I focused on too many things I’d get overwhelmed.
I want to focus on telling Anthony all the things I’m thankful he did for the kids and me each day. Rather than coming home and telling him how he should of done it differently.
He is doing a really good job watching and caring for the kids each and every day. Maybe he doesn’t do it the way I would but he does it a great job. I think he does a better job than me.
The kids adore him and that means so much to me.
I feel bad that lately I am an emotional wreck,
feeling so sick, tired and needing a lot of rest.
It’s God’s way of forcing me to take care of me
and the baby inside of me.
So I am working hard to tell Anthony each day just how proud of him I am, all the things he is doing that blesses me and how thankful I am to have such a wonderful husband.

Anthony and I are also working
on being intentional on having date nights.
We don’t get them often but we desperately need them.
The other night my sister and brother in law Sarah and Justin along with Justin’s brother Joe came over to watch the kids so Anthony and I could have a date night. We desperately needed it!

Anthony and I had a gift card to The Arrogant Butcher.
So we went there first and it was yummy.
I had a turkey pastrami sandwich
and Anthony had crab stuffed chicken.
Then for dessert we headed over to The Grand Lux Café.
I had bread pudding
and Anthony had key lime pie.
I think I gained 5 pounds from our night out.
It was so worth it.
We spent time just talking and being together.
It was so nice.

What are ways that you're intentional with your marriage?
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At February 5, 2012 at 8:52 AM , Blogger The Lee Family Happenings said...

I have a tendency to slide into the nag zone sometimes, even though I fully realize that my husband does more than he really 'should' anyway. He really just likes me to tell him that I appreciate him and what he does. It's such a little thing, but it means a lot to him. Thanks for the reminder :)

At February 5, 2012 at 8:52 AM , Blogger Diane Writes said...

Wow! Great food with the company of the one you love is the best. And don't worry about the lbs. Good food never fails to bring good mood, and that's what we all wanted everyday, right? :)

At February 5, 2012 at 9:00 AM , Blogger Messy said...

I tend to forget to SHOW my love. Through doing little things, cuddling or just saying "I love you". So, I have been trying to be more active in that! Great post, Anthony is very lucky to have you ;)

At February 5, 2012 at 9:28 AM , Blogger MaddoxsMommy said...

I absolutely love this post. When Maddox's dad and I were together I don't think I ever really put our relationship first. This post helped me realize that a little bit more. This helps put things into perspective in what I can do differently in my next relationship. So thanks for this :-)

At February 5, 2012 at 11:10 AM , Blogger Bailey@Lost&Found said...

This is so sweet. You are both so lucky to have each other!

At February 5, 2012 at 1:49 PM , Blogger Ann said...

Wonderful post! My hubby and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and one thing that we know is that you have to continually work at making time together. It's amazing, also, that when we learn to appreciate the little things about our spouse, they tend to even try harder at making us happy. My hubby spent all day helping me clean the house this weekend! I don't know what I would do without him!!!

In His Lo♥e, Ann

At February 5, 2012 at 3:51 PM , Blogger Laura Railing said...

With today's technology there are some great ways to spend time together. I downloaded a bunch of free games (search for the game and some of the knockoff free versions will come up. most are just as good!) so sometimes we'll relax together, sometimes in bed, and play a game. You can also get great devotionals to do together. It doesn't always take a ton of time to go a long way! One thing I do is leave post it notes in places I know he'll find them with specific thing I appreciated about him.

Learning to say "thank you" more really helps things. When you focus on thanking instead of complaining, and what you can do for him, it really makes a difference. it's the little things!

At February 5, 2012 at 4:02 PM , Blogger Ashley said...

I know what you mean about not having time for your hubby! I feel like we go go go all day and then crash at the end of the night because we are so tired. We try to have a date at least twice a month.

At February 5, 2012 at 4:33 PM , Blogger Heather said...

Found your blog from the restless blog hop. So glad I found you!

I agree with a previous comment.... i tend to be a nagger as well. I stay at home and sometimes feel like i know best when it comes to our daughter...even though i don't :) but i try to remind myself to step back and let him do things his way. What will it hurt?

He gets home from work and takes care of milo while i cook. Then we all play together...then bath....we try to get "us" time after my daughter goes to bed. Just being able to talk and hang out without our daughter really helps....since we don't really get dates. (we live in the UK and don't have anyone to babysit really...)

It's great that you are being intentional. Thats a great way to look at it.

At February 5, 2012 at 6:12 PM , Blogger Annie@Letters to Mo said...

Beautiful post. I try very hard to do a marriage centered family, which isn't always easy. I just wrote a post about marriage, it's a topic I'm passionate about!

At February 5, 2012 at 6:45 PM , Blogger Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

Awe girl. I love that you realized what you were doing and took action about it! I love how you are being intentional, you are such an inspiration love! It looks like ya'll had a good date night! xoxoxo

At February 6, 2012 at 12:57 AM , Blogger Aleisha McD said...

This was a lovely post, Pretty Lady! I enjoyed reading it and it spoke to my heart. Thank you for sharing!

At February 6, 2012 at 9:14 AM , Blogger Kristy said...

So glad you got a date night!! I totally agree, every couple needs them!! And yes, I've been striving to be more intentional with Ryan too. It is so easy to take him for granted and I am trying to show him how much I appreciate him!! It makes all the difference in the world!

At February 7, 2012 at 7:06 PM , Blogger Stephine said...

You should start planning date nights once or twice a month :)

At February 9, 2012 at 8:45 PM , Anonymous Erika @ Slowly Natural said...

My husband and I haven't had a "real" date night (meaning, outside the house) since August of last year. We live out of state from family and unfortunately, while we do have friends, there isn't anyone who can watch the kids. We don't let it stop us though, we've had some awesome in home date nights that mean more to me than anything else! You're right, we do have to be intentional about our marriages!

Dropped by from Raising Might Arrows linkup!


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